Wednesday, March 13, 2024
Regular Day Schedule - 2 Toddlers
Friday, November 17, 2023
Catholic Christmas Gifts for Kids
Wednesday, August 9, 2023
Thoughts on Breastfeeding
In honor of National Breastfeeding week, JK I just wanted to capture my thoughts on breastfeeding since it takes up a significant amount of my life and because I have time to type this (I quit my job).
I love nursing. It seems kind of odd that I can love something as utilitarian as feeding a child, I do not have the same feelings about baby led weaning or feeding toddlers solid food (this is one of my lesser favorite tasks actually). Before actually having kids I naively thought I would nurse but then have Brendan give the baby 1 bottle at night. I do not think I understood that that would mean I would need to pump while the baby had the bottle. Having a little break sounded nice at first but in reality this meant needing to wash bottles and pump parts and pump which in my mind is a million times more of a hassle than nursing! I realize this is not the case for everyone!
I have been nursing for the last 801 days. It seems like not that big of a deal and it isn't but it does impact a lot like:
What you are able to wear. I wear anything that can be pulled up, pulled down, or with buttons. The actual "nursing" tops are not cute at all but they are super practical and are actually my favorite because of the ease
What you can eat. Idk if I'll go more into this but I didn't have dairy for a few months with my 2nd child which was a BIG deal because 90% of my diet was cheese. Otherwise I am not too restrictive but it is still something I keep in mind, especially when having alcohol or caffeine or broccoli. Also I have never experienced hunger like breastfeeding hunger, especially toddler nursing hunger like I would literally feel dizzy and famished
When you can leave the house. Basically if I want/need to leave the house without a baby I need to leave right after I feed them to have a window where I am comfortable enough leaving them and won't worry about them being hungry. I have been without this 2nd baby for sure less than 10 times. I'm not saying this to complain, if I really wanted to make it happen I could but the advance planning/ pumping is not worth it to me.
Symbiotic relationship. Idk what else to call this point but before actually living it I don't think I realized that nursing very much so takes the mother and her needs into account not just the baby's. If I go longer without feeding a baby my body is also impacted. I have yet to get mastitis or a clogged duct but especially at the beginning it is also going through my mind, like I don't mind a baby clusterfeeding as much because it is also helping me out
With the first child, I fed on a schedule and on demand. I did the wake up to feed thing at night and during the day until the Dr. gave the okay to stop. So basically, I didn't let the baby go longer than 3 hours without a nursing session but during the day especially this usually was around 2 hours. After I got the ok to not wake to feed, I didn't wake the baby at night anymore but during the day I'm pretty sure I capped all naps at 2 hours and would feed on average every 2 hours. I think I read this in Ina May's Guide to Breastfeeding or something from the La Leche League but it is impossible to overfeed a breastfed baby so basically whenever the baby cried I nursed and that was my go to. I had a planned trip when baby was about a month old or else I probably wouldn't have ever used a pump. I got a Lansinoh one that the insurance covered and I don't have anything to compare it to but it was, fine. I remember being super intimidated by the thing and think I tasked Brendan with figuring out how to set it up. I reached out to the La Leche League for help getting the baby to take a bottle and watched some videos on "paced bottle feeding". I honestly don't know how to give a baby a bottle, Brendan was the only one who did this idk how it went. When my first child was around 10 months he stopped taking a bottle but before that there were no issues. This probably happened because there was a big stretch of time between the first time he had a bottle and the next (like months).
With my first kid I was always worried about my milk supply tanking if I went too long in between feedings.
Nursing During Pregnancy
My milk supply dropped drastically when I was pregnant with my 2nd child (totally normal) and I continued nursing my first child the whole time. I read Adventures in Tandem Nursing which I recommend. I didn't experience any nursing aversions but if I did it would be helpful to know that that I wasn't going insane.
Things That Are Different With My 2nd
I don't remember my milk coming in being as much of a "thing" with my 2nd because I was still nursing another kid while I gave birth (not literally but ya know). I think it is also common for milk to come in faster in general with children after the first. I also didn't experience any pain during nursing (at least none that I recall), I did have some for the first few weeks the first time around. Actually, this is worth mentioning now that I think about it, with my first child, when latching on one side (slacker side) it reallllly hurt like say a bad word hurt for the first week or so. I didn't see a lactation consultant but I always tried to get a good latch. With my 2nd kid, I didn't worry about examining the latch or making sure it was "good" after the first week probably. I also didn't worry as much about my milk supply. In one of my 2nd kids follow up appointments, like the ones that happen the day or so after you are discharged, jaundice was mentioned and after that I realllllllly kicked it into high gear and made a big effort to make sure I nursed all the time, which is really hard with a super sleepy baby who has his days and nights mixed up. I nursed at least every 2 hours (maybe 3 at night) and made sure to do all the massage stuff etc. to keep him awake for a "full feeding". I would nurse for 20 min max each side with my first child, but with the 2nd after he made up his birth weight I would only do 1 side at a time if he felt content unless it was the last feed before bed. Oh in case you are wondering the turn out with the jaundice, at the follow up appointment in 2 days or whenever it was, baby got the all clear and made up his birth weight + some and I texted Bren that I kicked jaundice's a**. Not sure if that is what actually happened but it does feel like SO much pressure for the mom because I really felt like I needed to make it my sole mission those few days to feed the baby as much as possible. I also never bothered introducing a bottle and am more chill on the waking during naps because of frequent night wakings (the former could be the cause for the latter who knows)
The Good
After you make it out of the stressful newborn days when you can be super worried if your baby is getting enough to eat (I empathize so much with this struggle as it really feels like it is all on you) nursing is really quite lovely! I like the ease of not having to worry about amounts, as the baby can just stop when they are content and it is impossible to overfeed according to la leche league or something. You don't have to worry about cleaning, sanitizing, proper temperatures, that stuff realllllly stressed me out. It is nice having a basically guarantee way to calm a baby and knowing that you will never run out of food
cute (imo) baby pic to balance out all the text. also disclaimer, this is obvi not a recommendation or medical advice. this is just my experience!
Sunday, April 9, 2023
P birth story
Please forgive the bad grammar and typos I wrote this 1 handed while nursing/ also due to regular me.
At the beginning of my pregnancy the Dr. said we would be monitoring the baby’s size because of my first child's shoulder dystocia, but for some reason I thought I would most likely be late again and be induced.
At all of the ultrasounds until the 34 week ultrasound, baby was measuring average, 1 week ahead, which was the same as B on his last ultrasound. The 34 week ultrasound, the baby was measuring “huge” 92 percentile overall and 99th percentile for the abdomen which I guess is indicative of shoulder dystocia having a higher risk of occurring again. After hearing this I was like oh dang, my dr. is def going to talk to me about an evacuation plan, but again, for some reason I didn’t think this would mean a c-section. The next day, at my doctor appointment the Dr. said because of the ultrasound on the previous day she would need to schedule a c-section. In retrospect I should’ve expected this but I started crying (think bc of hormones and because of the lifelong implications this would have). The dr thought it was because of the death to the birth I had planned that I was crying, but this wasn’t the case, if this was an isolated event I probably would’ve preferred a c-section (well, maybe if I didn’t also have a toddler to carry).
I googled stuff about previous shoulder dystocia, c-section recovery, and future pregnancy after c-section stuff. I even called this midwife group to try and switch doctors but it was too late in the pregnancy for another Dr. to accept me. One of my biggest things was feeling like what if that ultrasound was wrong and I was going to have this major life altering surgery because of it? I would feel awfullllll though if something happened to the baby and I denied my doctor’s suggestion to have a c section so I didn’t realistically think I would be able to do that. I also feel like if the Dr. is going to be delivering the baby she can call the shots on the method of delivery that she thinks is safest.
It took me about a week to get on board with the c-section. It was scheduled for the morning of 1/17, I ordered lots of recovery supplies and even had my bell all set to ring for when I needed something from Bren or my mom.
I was so caught off guard with the c section news at that appointment that I’m not totally aware of what the options were for me not to need a c section, but I think they were me going into labor before 1/17 or the next ultrasound being a lot different which my dr. Made it seem like I shouldn’t count on based on how extreme on the large side the previous one was.
My next and final ultrasound was at 38 weeks on 1/10. The baby was measuring totally average at this one! I’d also like to add that the same ultrasound tech that did my other average ultrasounds did this one. My doctor acted very surprised as well and said there wasn’t a need for a c-section but scheduled me to be induced 1/17! My fundal height was also measuring totally average this time around. I was 3 cm dilated. I had that non stress test or whatever it's called when you sit in a comfy chair all hooked up to things to make sure the baby was all good at this appointment too, just because there was very little growth from the previous ultrasound to this one or something.
I waited until after the birth to return all my c-section recovery stuff, just in case.
Actual Birth
I called the hospital the morning of the 17th to see if there were any beds( I think I was scheduled to come in at 4 or 5 am) There weren’t any open and they said they would call me back when there were. Around 6 I called and they told us to come on in. At 7:15 am ish I was started on Pitocin and had a super painful cervical check that caused me to audibly swear. Cervical checks are probs the worst part of pregnancy for me tbh. For my 1st birth, there was a nurse and a training nurse or a new nurse so only having 1 nurse this time made it feel a little less legit and I was pretty skeptical because I realllllly liked the 2 nurses last time but didn't feel that way this time. Bren tried to reassure me that this nurse seemed fine. I had some cranberry juice, at 8:30 am my dr broke my water. This also hurt more than I remembered. I started really feeling contractions after that. I moved to the ball and audibly swore for painful contractions I think, a doula or coach I think would be really helpful to talk you through the pain or being in a tub would probably feel good but moving also feels like a lot of work when you are all hooked up. My only “birth plan” was wanting to def have the epidural before it was too late. I wasn’t doing a good job at offering up my suffering through the contractions and I think Bren was like these are really painful just get the epidural. I got the epidural at 10 am ish. I moved for 1 part I remember, it is pretty scary worrying you’ll get a contraction during it. After the epidural I remember saying a lot, I don’t remember it hurting this much last time. I thought it was maybe because the Pitocin contractions were just that much more than regular ones? Because last time I could feel the contractions but they weren’t painful. This time they were def still painful but not as painful as they would be with 0 medication I’m assuming. Finally, I asked the nurse are you sure nothing is wrong because I can feel a lottttt. Guess what, the epidural wasn’t hooked up or something so I only got the “test dose”! Not really sure how that happened, but then a different anesthesiologist nurse came in and probs gave me like “too much” because then I couldn’t feel anything at all, couldn’t move my legs. Sometime right before or right after realizing my epidural wasn’t working I was at 10 cm. Everything happened really quickly after that but felt super calm. My dr. was there and had a student doctor or something help. I think I reiterated the shoulder dystocia stuff, obvi my doctor knew but I told them to just lmk what I needed to do to get the baby here safely. I kept saying I can’t feel my legs at all good luck having me push but somehow the nurses/ my doctor / Bren telling me when to push was working even though I didn’t feel like I was doing anything.
Baby was born at 11:25 am, think the delivery was only 8 minutes. I didn’t need to worry about the nurse, I was like sobbing thanking everyone and was so happy and like in shock at how easy the delivery was and that the baby was safe. The golden hour stuff that everyone talks about happened, baby latched quickly. I didn’t have the golden hour last time but didn’t really know any different. I was so in love with this baby I can’t describe it in words, I’m also very sleep deprived still because of this baby.
Baby was 8.11 oz and 21 inches long, so 1 ounce bigger than his brother. If the ultrasound showed his actual weight, I think the c section would’ve still happened.
Saturday, December 11, 2021
2021 Girls Gift Guide
I have been wearing these for the past 4 days.
the nightgown that I got from here over the summer doesn't look like it is available anymore but it is probably the favorite item I purchased this year. I love everything from this brand! most of the dresses are nursing friendly too
no clue if these are actually good knives, but they're pretty
this potentially was on my gift guide last year. subscriptions are the gift that keeps on giving! I got this for my dad because he doesn't really like any gifts, just started drinking coffee a few years ago, and only likes whole bean single-origin coffee. He won't read this
I need to brainstorm about what all I could store in these. I like the ones that are brown on the bottom with gold on top the most.
2021 Christmas Gift Guide for Babies
Monday, August 2, 2021
Bruno’s Birth Story
I’m planning on also writing a 3rd trimester recap and my thoughts on Bruno’s first month of life so I won’t include info on that here. If I had to give my birth experience a reddit title it would be “Positive Induction Experience at 40+5, FTM”.
Birth is one of those unique experiences that everyone who is present and part of the “labor group” that is in the room with you is kinda bonded forever over the shared unique experience. The only thing that it kinda reminds me of is running a marathon. Similar aspects:
- You can die in both events
- A sip of water or snack can give you a much needed boost
- You can do a lot to train or you can do nothing
- A lot of it is mental
- People who’ve done it love to talk about it
- People cheering really helps give you a boost